The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize