Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
