So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
