I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
