I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
