you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize