Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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