There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
