At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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