THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
