Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
