currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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