So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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