rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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