This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
