Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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