He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
