He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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