eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
