i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
