she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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