i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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