Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
