Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
