I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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