Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My ass is underappreciated
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
