please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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