if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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