Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
