This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
