so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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