Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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