How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
smell my finger.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
