You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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