I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
