i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
