using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
