i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
