"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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