I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
