the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
