I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
