hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
