The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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