I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
