I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
