somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
