So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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