he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
