It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
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Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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