Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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