Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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