i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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