Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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