i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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