I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
