Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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