ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
